I keep thinking that I should buy an ironing board but why bother when I don’t have an iron?

So I don’t.

I never go to any formal functions, I am not office based, usually wear a jacket or waistcoat and  am at home most evenings.

Yeah, okay, shirts and trousers get a bit creased but I normally find that body heat is a natural de=creaser. I also find modern fabrics are less crinkly and easy to wash and hang up thus negating the need to iron.

I hate it as well. What a performance. Wrestle with the board, wait for the damned thing to heat up, place the garment in suitable positions so as to get flat rather than make new creases and then await more time for the appliance to cool down as one doesn’t need to start a fire.

Its the most boring and time wasting activity I can think of and was actually thankful to lend my iron and board out. I haven’t seen it for years and have since ironed a total of zero garments from that day on.

I can honestly say that I have not missed it one little bit and have the satisfaction of have a tiny bit more space to store other crap.

Yes its nice to see a fine crisp shirt with flattened bibs and tails but for the most time that formality is destined for business and show. There is something quite honest and sexy about a white shirt with jeans and waistcoat where the shirt is slightly crumpled. The words relaxed and easy come to mind and its a classic look. Not for all granted but it will do for  me.

Who Irons jeans anyway?

So there you have it in a nutshell. I don’t iron because I don’t have an iron. Will I get one? I doubt it. Do I want one? No.

I will leave to our armed forces, the nutters who find it relaxing and the ones out to impress.

Crinkly is good as it matches the wrinkles that appear to becoming more common-place on my body.

Happy NON-ironing folks.

I hope it is the case but life just seems a bit easier.

This time last year and on and off for years life has been an endless struggle of emotions and jealousy. I hate it and find it boring and so crippling.

With nervous joy I have found a level of contentment. It has taken time and is a working project at present and I have had to admit a problem, seek help and try treatments. I do recommend this plan of action.

It was all to easy to look at others and imagine their life. Oooh they appear rich, happy, funny and cool. But thats it. They appear to be but not necessarily are.

Anyway why live another persons life?

Being able to loose some of the depressive symptoms has allowed space for reflection. Many situations are way beyond most of our control so why bother spending time trying to solve or adjust them? It has also given time to look and see how much I have and and the things I have achieved. I certainly opened my eyes.

I won’t bore with listing all the good but will mention a few. I have a job (hard work abut reasonable pay), somewhere to live, food in the cupboards, a small garden and average health. I have rediscovered my humour and some of my overshadowed confidence.

Do I hanker after what is not mine? No. I honestly could not care less about exotic holidays, flashy cars, designer clobber, a highly paid job, the big house and trophy wife. Dining out in trendy bistros, rubbing shoulders with, so called attention seeking, celebrities and being successful hold no attraction to me.

What is important is levelling out and rediscovering a happy heart.

Yes things upset me still like the Grenfell Tower fire and so they should as It shows I am human and compassionate but it was something beyond my control.

For some it will have to be a new start which will be a struggle but sometimes being forced to give up one’s baggage is just what is needed to allow the Phoenix to rise again.

So if life is dark ask for help and admit support.

Some days are good, some are great and some just seem to fit nicely into a relaxed box of fun.

Yesterday was one of those days.

After visiting the bank and post office which was painless and almost joyous I decided to shop for food. What a mundane and boring job I hear you say. Indeed it is but yesterday all the nice people appeared to be out. I parked my car and a lovely lady in a soft top BMW caught my eye. I flashed her a cheeky smile and asked how she was and that she looked cool in her car. No contempt or quizzical looks were returned and we chatted and laughed and then went our separate ways. Casual and relaxed but warming.

So things went good potatoes in the store and once I had got home and packed away the bacon to decide tea and music the order of the afternoon. Nice..

However, there was something missing……Beer? Human company? Live entertainment? Laughter? Well yes, all of those. Aha. That lightbulb feeling. Phoned some friends, showered, donned my party pants, fed dog and strolled off to town.

Nothing particularly inspiring in that I guess but everyone I met was in an upbeat mood and funny even the girls sought our company and infectious fun. The music helped and of course the friendly beer was on hand to supply its corner of joy.

Not every evening or day goes this way but when they do they are a welcome addition to life.

Bless be girls, mad friends, music and beer.

To top things off I won £2.80 on the lottery.

I don’t normally like commenting on current affairs or news but this latest tragedy, in the form of the Grenfell Tower Block Inferno, has left me bereft and so sad and angry.

The poor residents left homeless, possessionless and without a solid future are victims of possibly a needless disaster.

Okay, the tower block wasn’t the most beautiful sight and lacked architectural integrity but it has stood the test of time. My guess is that the local rich folk, in their mansions and London retreats wanted something more pleasing to the eye so as to keep “nice” standards up.

Well thats all fine and dandy but when the task falls on those who want to make a fast buck then greed and cost-cutting is a sure thing.

If the cladding was banned in America and deemed unsafe in Germany for structures over 40ft then why on earth should it be discussed yet alone used. And for what, a £5,000 saving. It makes me sick to the core to think that this could have been allowed.

Yet the bosses of the cladding company and those involved in the decision making are living in lavish mansions, taking exotic holidays and flaunting super cars and the like. That little saving probably bought a wife a nice Gucci handbag or pair of shoes only to be seen in once.

But set aside those grievances and think about how this was even granted planning permission. Someone must have had their palm greased to get it rubber-stamped. Well I hope they can live with themselves.

Peter Green, a complete corporate liar and cheat, is not as bad as these people. Near but not as bad. I mean he stole and cheated employees and investors out of millions but he didn’t directly kill anyone and I’m sure he will be hounded for justice. Let us hope so.

No these criminals knowingly set a lethal time-bomb in motion and have caused death, life-changing injuries, loss of homes and misery for hundreds of people and I really do hope they are brought to justice and live a life of hardship for their remaining years.

I do hope that this is the case and the words of those set the horrible task of investigating this tragedy and not just “there are lessons to be learned” and those responsible walk free.

The residents only crime, no not crime but fault, was that they were of lower status and poor (in the eyes of those who abandoned them). Thus their complaints and worries fell on deaf ears. Just because they didn’t have the financial power behind them then those who could have changed things ignored them.

The hard working people, not just in this country but all around the world, are treated with contempt and indifference, until needed to vote the despots into power. These are the ones that keep the world turning by going out to work at all hours and throughout the seasons for little or conservative pay. They are taxed from every angle and their opinions are left to seed the stony barren land. However, without them these fat cats and leaders would have nothing. And the gap is getting worse and worse.

So I pray that the victims of Grenfell and the surrounding areas find help, justice, peace and a new life of happiness and fortune.

My thoughts go out to you all and thanks for listening.

Every time I think about smartening up my home and clearing away the clutter and unused items I seem to have an abundant excuses of not doing it.

Sentiment clouds my move forward. That might come in useful in the future. What a waste of money to get rid of this and that rings volumes in my mind. What can I live without, what actually do I need.

I have no desire to live in a show home or a space so minimalist that its bare to the point of nothingness. Equally, I hate living in turmoil. Balance is my aspiration.

Is it that old thing about mind over matter?

What happens if something is thrown out only to be needed a few weeks later? I think most of us hoard stuff but when space and storage is lacking then this becomes an issue of massive relevance.

So do I remove everything as if I was moving home, reinstall the necessary items, box up and store the things I may need and then donate the rest to charity or the local tip and maybe sell the remainder after that.

I don’t want to have a space full of sheds at the expense of outside sitting but I can’t bring myself to rid my home of gifts and keepsakes because of guilt and sentiment. It is a dilemma for me but maybe not so for everyone else.

However, storage costs and if its a permanent situation then why keep the stored things.

I’m thinking of seriously biting the proverbial bullet and having a life-changing clear out. Mentally, I have taken steps to sort out the madness and depression in my life so this seems a perfect next step.

Do I have the courage and mindset to do it?

I am humbled and proud to think that these young men and women are looking after us and working so hard for Queen and Country.

So my heart swelled when I received a text from my partner to say that her son passed his initial test to hopefully join the ranks of this fine establishment.

Hearing his description of the gruelling exercises brings home how hard it is to get through the first set of challenges and how fit, strong and mentally prepared these young people have to be.

Yes its a worry to think what is awaiting him but the adventures and experiences will far overshadow those worries.

Thirty two weeks of basic training will no doubt pass on its exacting knowledge and I can’t wait to see the Green Lid atop his head when he passes out at the end.

Mum is torn between pride, emotional terror, happiness and support for her son as one would only expect and trying to find the words and emotions to support her is a challenge in itself but I can only do my best as and when needed. It is impossible to fully understand not having children of my own but I would be chuffed to  bits if my own son were half the man he is.

Best wishes to all starting out on a new adventure.

Recently real life is becoming filled with doom and gloom, violence and racism, crime and hoodwinking and lies so it was wonderful to find an escape in the form of television entertainment.

I was advised to seek out “The last man on earth” so  did just that. Boy was I not disappointed. Laugh out loud funny. Crazy and mindless but thoroughly unmissable viewing.

What would you do if you thought you were the last person on earth? Freak out? Probably to start with but once reality set in the world is yours.

This tongue in cheek series is so well written and the lead role “Phil-Tandy” is brilliant. What a dick he is but one can’t help enjoy his approach to every twist and turn that is thrown his way.

That is not to say that the other characters are left in his shadow. Far from it. Each and every new face brings more humour and drama to what should be a very sad and lonely experience.

It does make one think and play out fantasies if put in the same predicament.

I love the artistic licence of the show and one can ignore what certain situations would actually be the true result.

Granted not all will see the appeal and some may find it totally stupid but that is the point. Its meant to be.

If you haven’t heard of this series of shows then search it out on Amazon Prime and such places and start watching. Give it a chance as it takes a while to settle into the world of being alone and bored.

Fantastic is my last word.

How many times have we been told to be ourselves not who we think we should be?

It’s incredibly difficult to be yourself if you don’t really know what it is that makes the person you are.

Does it really mean that one has to travel the world on foot, climb the highest mountain, wrestle a moody lion, get shot, cause a fight in a bar full of Hell’s Angels or spend two years stranded on a deserted island to find out who you are? If so I guess I will never know the me inside.

We are bombarded with influences from music to art, from political opinion to religious bent and advertising of anything that can be thought of.

If we don’t tow the line and fit into society’s norm then one is weird, abused, locked up or laughed at. So how can one be themselves?

It’s ridiculous that by the age of fifty I still don’t have definition to my life and I surely can’t be alone in this. I have no idea of what my chosen career should be, where the coolest place is to live, how to express myself or find the courage to change. I’m not necessarily complaining or depressed about this, I’m just curious how others appear to be in control and have a “cool dude” life.

Being human is not instinctive me thinks.

I guess in many ways I do have a sense of self. I know what pleases my eye in the form of art, what music I like, what jokes amuse me and food (all the bad things) I adore. So what am I saying? of course I know myself, but do I? Is that it just an outline of who I am is what I know until I do something blindingly brave, push myself beyond my physical boundaries or get touched by the light?

That is a little sad only knowing part of oneself for the whole of their life without being extreme.

See you all as I’m off to pack my bag and begin my global adventure.

Last week I tried a short slow jog of around two miles sandwiched between two cycle rides.

Wow!! Nothing remarkable about that, I know, until I stopped to think of what has been going on for the past year.

This time last year I developed a very painful foot and ankle that felt like it was bruised, strained, battered and tight. I thought it would never go away. I tried physio, orthotics or varying kinds, rest and supports but the problem didn’t seem to get any better.

I put weight on and have become slightly uncomfortable  with my size. Willpower doesn’t appear to be word I can stick to so dieting is disastrous. So I resigned myself to a life without jogging and cycling.

That the toughest part of my life. Although I quite like cycling its not a passion. Jogging was. I loved the full-on exertion and challenge that a run can give and the chemicals that flood the body. The sense of achievement was massive when one crossed the imaginary finish line after a 20 mile jog. In more recent years that distance was down to 6-10 miles but with similar results.

So when last week I donned some trainers, set my watch to jog mode and strode over the fields and back in a slow but determined jog I was delighted to cover 2 miles in around 18 minutes. I was breathless and hot at the end but high on happiness and achievement.

To round the session off with a 14 mile cycle was the cream on the cake. Brilliant.

Will I try again? You bet I will.

I  miss it so much and will beast myself to continue as long as I can.

Being forced to retire from something you love is not just hard its life-changing and depressing.

Some may think me mad (probably right though) but unless you have experienced the rush of exercise and the pure joy of pushing the body then you will find what I have said confusing and idiotic. If you have done this then you will understand the frustrations and problems that plague me now.

Do I stop and focus on something else or fight and never give up????

There has been a lot of unrest and bloodshed in the U.K. recently and its just so sad.

The saddest observation is that it is only a very small minority who have and will behave in such a way but everyone that fit the profile or image of those who are guilty will be labelled and criticised too. Maybe even hurt innocently.

For example the bombing in Manchester and the stabbings in London are said to be Muslim and Isis related acts of terrorism. Absolutely abhorrent and disgusting. Committed by a handful of hate-filled, brainwashed idealists who hate the Western ways. But the knee jerk reaction is to see all ethnic people, scarf wearing women, bearded men and robe wearers to be guilty of being the same and that is just plain wrong. Most (to the point of nearly all) are decent loving, fun, sociable people who live for peace and harmony. It is just the tiny percentage who black the minds of those they offend.

Another example is that all shaven headed people wearing braces and boots are supporters of the National Front. A few may be but some just like the image. Many supporters will be normal looking people from all walks of life but it will be the ones who fit the image that will be frowned upon and scorned by those who don’t stop and find out the big picture.

Jumping to conclusions is not only dangerous and wrong it can be fatal and irreversible. Many innocence will be caught in the aftermath of acting without knowing the full facts.

How do we stop it? I am not condoning these acts, far from it, the culprits need punishment and removal from society but its an enormous ask when they can hide in plain sight.

The other question is when violence crosses over to terrorism.

Violence is becoming a daily occurence. Youngsters being stabbed or shot over petty ignorance. Abuse in the home and out on the streets, both verbally and physically. Bullying online and at work are all causing mistrust within our society and the shrinking budgets to police and protect the innocent is a shocking disgrace by those who lead us from Government. Even more shocking is the fact that if our taxes were spent with more insight and efficiency then there would be plenty enough to go round.

Okay these acts can bring communities and people together in solidarity but the focus of that solidarity must be to make our lives peaceful and better not to destroy or alienate those who innocently live around us as the memories of those who perish will be be defiled for good.

Terror is bad enough so why do we have to add to it with violence and bullying and take one thing from this and don’t rush to condemn or hate those without stopping to think about another’s guilt.