How many times have we been told to be ourselves not who we think we should be?

It’s incredibly difficult to be yourself if you don’t really know what it is that makes the person you are.

Does it really mean that one has to travel the world on foot, climb the highest mountain, wrestle a moody lion, get shot, cause a fight in a bar full of Hell’s Angels or spend two years stranded on a deserted island to find out who you are? If so I guess I will never know the me inside.

We are bombarded with influences from music to art, from political opinion to religious bent and advertising of anything that can be thought of.

If we don’t tow the line and fit into society’s norm then one is weird, abused, locked up or laughed at. So how can one be themselves?

It’s ridiculous that by the age of fifty I still don’t have definition to my life and I surely can’t be alone in this. I have no idea of what my chosen career should be, where the coolest place is to live, how to express myself or find the courage to change. I’m not necessarily complaining or depressed about this, I’m just curious how others appear to be in control and have a “cool dude” life.

Being human is not instinctive me thinks.

I guess in many ways I do have a sense of self. I know what pleases my eye in the form of art, what music I like, what jokes amuse me and food (all the bad things) I adore. So what am I saying? of course I know myself, but do I? Is that it just an outline of who I am is what I know until I do something blindingly brave, push myself beyond my physical boundaries or get touched by the light?

That is a little sad only knowing part of oneself for the whole of their life without being extreme.

See you all as I’m off to pack my bag and begin my global adventure.