I hope it is the case but life just seems a bit easier.

This time last year and on and off for years life has been an endless struggle of emotions and jealousy. I hate it and find it boring and so crippling.

With nervous joy I have found a level of contentment. It has taken time and is a working project at present and I have had to admit a problem, seek help and try treatments. I do recommend this plan of action.

It was all to easy to look at others and imagine their life. Oooh they appear rich, happy, funny and cool. But thats it. They appear to be but not necessarily are.

Anyway why live another persons life?

Being able to loose some of the depressive symptoms has allowed space for reflection. Many situations are way beyond most of our control so why bother spending time trying to solve or adjust them? It has also given time to look and see how much I have and and the things I have achieved. I certainly opened my eyes.

I won’t bore with listing all the good but will mention a few. I have a job (hard work abut reasonable pay), somewhere to live, food in the cupboards, a small garden and average health. I have rediscovered my humour and some of my overshadowed confidence.

Do I hanker after what is not mine? No. I honestly could not care less about exotic holidays, flashy cars, designer clobber, a highly paid job, the big house and trophy wife. Dining out in trendy bistros, rubbing shoulders with, so called attention seeking, celebrities and being successful hold no attraction to me.

What is important is levelling out and rediscovering a happy heart.

Yes things upset me still like the Grenfell Tower fire and so they should as It shows I am human and compassionate but it was something beyond my control.

For some it will have to be a new start which will be a struggle but sometimes being forced to give up one’s baggage is just what is needed to allow the Phoenix to rise again.

So if life is dark ask for help and admit support.