I love birthdays in all shapes and form so long as they are not my own.

There is something quite magical about the day that a person was born and the subsequent celebrations to mark that day.

I find the art of giving and seeing another happy such a fulfilling experience and it just makes me happy.

I am lucky to have friends and family that I can share the moment with and I love trying to hunt down a fitting gift, card and sentiment to suit their individual personalities. Its doesn’t have to be expensive, new or practical but it must show thought, aptness and humour.

I think the best part is to see someone’s expression on opening a gift or reading the words in a card. It is most wonderful to phrase and individually create the right message for the person intended. Thats what makes things special.

However, when it comes to my birthday, I find it all too embarrassing and awkward. Its the realisation that yet another year has passed and little has changed. The build up of emotions seem to scrunch up into a paper bag and find their way in life’s big dustbin. I do not mean to be ungrateful, unkind, selfish or emotionless; I just find it too, well too pants.

Take for example a meal. The excitement of combining ingredients, following a recipe and awaiting the final concoction is fantastic and then in just a few moments that very creation is devoured and lost to a fat ungrateful belly. Its all a bit underwhelming and seemingly wasteful. To do it for someone else’s pleasure is fun, beautiful and so rewarding but to receive it just doesn’t seem fair. Why should anyone want to spend time or money on me? I understand why, don’t get me wrong, but I do have trouble accepting it.

Selfish? Yeah maybe but I much prefer to give than to receive.  It is something I will just have to work at to resolve.

If I have come across a bit maudlin I honestly didn’t mean it to be and it is certainly no reflection of being depressed. Far from it. I couldn’t be happier at present as I have quite a few family and friends with birthdays around this time of the year and I love the thrill of thinking that in some little way I have made lives a bit happier and fuller.

Thats it really in a nut shell. I love happy.