When I was younger I couldn’t wait for a holiday whether it be to rush to an airport or ferry terminal to reach a foreign destination, pack camping gear and take to the countryside or jump around at a festival. Sometimes I would need another holiday to recover from the wild time I had just had off.

Now I still yearn for time off but I find an occurring pattern mould my time off.

In my mind I have jobs to do, people and places to visit, interests to follow and enjoy myself. What actually happens is nothing of the above. I have great difficulty in focus. Going away holds little or no interest any more and the hassle of air/ferry ports is just so off-putting. Days out cost too much to justify the expense so I end up vegetating at home.

I also tend to overeat and gain a bit of weight. Yes  I get to relax but then I have a huge wave of guilt and annoyance for wasting my precious days off. It just appears so dumb and easy to avoid but it just happens and is a reality. Is anyone else experiencing these issues.

Now, before anyone jumps up to ask if I am okay or is there anything wrong, I am fine and its not a black hole I have fallen into. It is simply some facts that I have noticed and thought it important to write about so I can come at the facts from a different angle.

I have learnt recently that part of coping with depression is to write emotions down and factors that can cause difficulties. And hey folks it works as it allows one to read as an impartial observer.

So now for the excuses to the problems I have written about.

Days out are seldom enjoyable if one is alone and craves social interaction. There is the fact that I have a dog so can’t go too far afield or stay away overnight. Costs are a poor excuse but still have to be considered.

Holidays away involve many of the problems listed above and also the amount of time being held at customs and the limits of travel permits. Its just so tiring. Seeing foreign destinations online is a hell of a lot cheaper and safer.

Festivals have turned into commercial over-kill events which hold little or no thrill to me now. Having to endure some of these ancient groups shuffle around stages to regurgitate old songs is bad enough but to witness lip sync and struggling brains is just too sad. There just is a lack of soul in the big festivals today but that doesn’t mean that there are brilliant musicians, bands and minor festivals out there but like anything good it needs searching for.

Camping???? My body can’t keep up and survive the cramped and damp conditions unless there is no alternative but one or two days is enough.

As for the jobs and crap things planned for the days at home. I really find it a massive bore so think “nah, I’ll do them tomorrow”; but tomorrow becomes tomorrow and so on. I did do some weeding and shopping so that was more than enough.

I am relaxed and happy so the results and finding of this project are that it actually does not matter what is done with leisure-time so long as one takes it.

I know some will argue and disagree with my thoughts and actions and that is fine.

Ta ra all.