I don’t know about you but routines and habits are important to me and if they are broken it takes a huge amount of time and effort to get back on course again and I don’t really understand why or how to fix this.

I end up drifting along without any sense or purpose and feel there is always something missing, loose myself or ask the question “what am I doing and whats it all about?”.

Since the death of my parents (7 yrs mum and 5 yrs dad) I have had fads. I’ve always had fads but there was focus and parental grounding then but now I just feel like I am awaiting the end and I am a spare cog no no in the wheel of life and society. Its not depression or loneliness or even sadness, its an empty void that just cannot be filled and its this space which is hindering lasting change.

I have a lovely family, a comfortable home, a pleasant car to drive, money in the bank, possessions and clothes and good health for my age so what is not to like. I even have a part-time job with another in the pipeline to keep me busy. It should be enough. Why is it not enough?

However, I used to blog regularly then got distracted by a new relationship, death and moving home. Before that it was cycling until time and fitness (unfitness is more accurate) got it the way. I even started writing a book but halfway through it stopped. Woodworking became another interest but a lack of inspiration, money and an unorganized workshop has made it hard to continue plus I was getting a mountain of completed projects with nowhere to store or show them. Injury has blocked my gym routine and although I am feeling a lot better I just can’t find the motivation to go out there because its cold and requires discipline and effort.

I feel like clearing everything out and starting again as everything feels cluttered, lost, dirty or in the wrong place and there are too many of each thing. We have three dinning tables and chair sets, occasional tables (more than a few) and many, many bowls. I’ve got more t-shirts and clothes than are necessary for a man and stuff I never use and its just habit that I keep them or buy more. I just can’t come to let go of things as they may come in useful, have sentimental value or I just can’t be bothered.

I know what is wrong now I have written things down and that is there are too many things happening in my life and instead of trying to do them all I should focus on one at a time but here lays the rub. What to do as if I focus on one thing then everything else gets abandoned and I don’t want that to happen and this is where routine, habit and discipline come in and my guess once one gets interrupted then all the others do too.

There I have it!!!!! The answer!!!

Make a list of what is important, schedule time, tidy up, think about selling some products to pay for the hobby, relax and dispense of the things that hinder growth.

Its not wrong to be spontaneous but routine is key.

I can do this, I can do this, I can do this.